I am notoriously poor at ever using the U S Mail system for sending anything. If you are like me and would like to email your responses to the QUESTIONNAIRE, feel free to email to either or both of these addresses: mellysnu@yahoo.com or glendapeters1224@yahoo.com. Thank you, again.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Sunday, March 25, 2007
The QUESTIONNAIRE
QUESTIONNAIRE
How well did you know this man before you began a serious relationship with him? Did you check him out enough?
What was the length of time before you acknowledged you were in a relationship with him? How long did the relationship last? (Or is the relationship still going on?)
What lessons have you learned from your experience?
Do you feel you knew this man well enough to make a good judgment about whether or not he was a good fit (concerning you standards, values and needs) for you?
At what point did you realize he had traits that were unacceptable or disagreeable to you?
What traits or qualities are those he has that you consider beneath you (as regards your standards, values and needs)?
How far into the relationship were you when you felt you had a clear picture of him?
How did his negative qualities become apparent to you?
What did you tell yourself about his negative traits?
Did some of his negative qualities come out later, or did you only begin to notice them later?
What do you wish you had done differently?
Why did you settle for someone who was beneath you?
What do you plan to do about the relationship? (Or what was it you did do about the relationship in the past?)
Do you feel you deserve better?
What are you afraid of about this situation?
Do you trust the feelings you have about this relationship?
What advice would you give to other women who find themselves with a man who is beneath them or who is considering such a man?
What else would you like to say or share about your personal story?
[[POST NOTE: This has been addressed to women for a book about Women Choosing Men Who Are Beneath Them. If, however, you choose to address this from wearing another shoe on another foot -- perhaps you are a man who married a woman beneath you, for example, feel free to answer from your perspective.]] Thank you again, in advance.
How well did you know this man before you began a serious relationship with him? Did you check him out enough?
What was the length of time before you acknowledged you were in a relationship with him? How long did the relationship last? (Or is the relationship still going on?)
What lessons have you learned from your experience?
Do you feel you knew this man well enough to make a good judgment about whether or not he was a good fit (concerning you standards, values and needs) for you?
At what point did you realize he had traits that were unacceptable or disagreeable to you?
What traits or qualities are those he has that you consider beneath you (as regards your standards, values and needs)?
How far into the relationship were you when you felt you had a clear picture of him?
How did his negative qualities become apparent to you?
What did you tell yourself about his negative traits?
Did some of his negative qualities come out later, or did you only begin to notice them later?
What do you wish you had done differently?
Why did you settle for someone who was beneath you?
What do you plan to do about the relationship? (Or what was it you did do about the relationship in the past?)
Do you feel you deserve better?
What are you afraid of about this situation?
Do you trust the feelings you have about this relationship?
What advice would you give to other women who find themselves with a man who is beneath them or who is considering such a man?
What else would you like to say or share about your personal story?
[[POST NOTE: This has been addressed to women for a book about Women Choosing Men Who Are Beneath Them. If, however, you choose to address this from wearing another shoe on another foot -- perhaps you are a man who married a woman beneath you, for example, feel free to answer from your perspective.]] Thank you again, in advance.
How did I (me, myself, moi_I) marry beneath myself?
Dear reader,
I am posting an opportunity for you to do for yourself what this blog will allow you to see the following has done for me. I am inserting here a plea from a close friend of mine to help her in authoring a book she's wanted to write for some time. Following that {[we all know blogs do things in reverse order to what we're used to]} you will see my responses to her questionnaire and insights I gain as I share it, talk it, think about it with others as a result of posting it on my blog(s).
Dear woman friend,
I am in the process of conducting research for a book I am writing. I would like to ask your help. This is not yet written in stone, but I’m thinking of calling the book Women Choosing Men Who Are Beneath Them.
Let me first help you understand what I mean by “men who are beneath” you. I believe each woman has certain principals or values that are necessary to her. Each woman also has specific needs that are essential to her happiness and wellbeing. The extent to which the man she chooses as a partner has qualities that do not measure up to her standards or values, or lacks ones she requires to meet her (very specific and individual) needs, determines whether or not the man is “beneath her”.
Let me give you two simple examples to illustrate my meaning. First, let’s say that one of your values is that a man be honest. If you are, or have been, in a relationship with a man who is dishonest, and does not value honesty, he is not meeting your standard for honesty, and is “beneath you”. This second example will illustrate how a man would not meet a woman’s needs. Let’s say you are a woman who loves to talk and be listened to. Communication is important to you. If you find yourself with a man who cannot communicate and listen to you in the way you need, then the man is “beneath you”.
Men may have countless other negative qualities such as inattentiveness, immaturity, emotional unavailability, lack of spirituality, annoying habits, temper, substance abuse/addictions, etc. I understand each woman is unique and each woman’s values and needs are personal to her. What is tolerable for one may not be tolerable for another.
Since I don’t know you personally, and I don’t know your life circumstances and experiences, I have no way of knowing whether or not you might feel as though you have a story to tell about a relationship with a man who is “beneath you”. If you feel that this applies to you, that you have been, in the past, or are now, involved with a man who is “beneath you”, I would like to invite you to share your experiences by completing the following questionnaire.
Rest assured, I will respect your anonymity and will not divulge your responses to anyone. If I use your experiences in my book, I promise to protect your identity.
Thank you in advance. I look forward to your response.
Glenda Peters PO Box 1021 Washington, Utah 84780
QUESTIONNAIRE (The recommendation is to do a separate questionnaire for each man you have been involved with who you feel fits this criteria. Feel free to pick and choose the questions that meet your needs and to write as much or little as benefits you.) Remember: The purpose of the questionnaire is to gather information for a book about Women Choosing Men Who Are Beneath Them. Thank you for your willingness to share your experiences.
I am posting an opportunity for you to do for yourself what this blog will allow you to see the following has done for me. I am inserting here a plea from a close friend of mine to help her in authoring a book she's wanted to write for some time. Following that {[we all know blogs do things in reverse order to what we're used to]} you will see my responses to her questionnaire and insights I gain as I share it, talk it, think about it with others as a result of posting it on my blog(s).
Dear woman friend,
I am in the process of conducting research for a book I am writing. I would like to ask your help. This is not yet written in stone, but I’m thinking of calling the book Women Choosing Men Who Are Beneath Them.
Let me first help you understand what I mean by “men who are beneath” you. I believe each woman has certain principals or values that are necessary to her. Each woman also has specific needs that are essential to her happiness and wellbeing. The extent to which the man she chooses as a partner has qualities that do not measure up to her standards or values, or lacks ones she requires to meet her (very specific and individual) needs, determines whether or not the man is “beneath her”.
Let me give you two simple examples to illustrate my meaning. First, let’s say that one of your values is that a man be honest. If you are, or have been, in a relationship with a man who is dishonest, and does not value honesty, he is not meeting your standard for honesty, and is “beneath you”. This second example will illustrate how a man would not meet a woman’s needs. Let’s say you are a woman who loves to talk and be listened to. Communication is important to you. If you find yourself with a man who cannot communicate and listen to you in the way you need, then the man is “beneath you”.
Men may have countless other negative qualities such as inattentiveness, immaturity, emotional unavailability, lack of spirituality, annoying habits, temper, substance abuse/addictions, etc. I understand each woman is unique and each woman’s values and needs are personal to her. What is tolerable for one may not be tolerable for another.
Since I don’t know you personally, and I don’t know your life circumstances and experiences, I have no way of knowing whether or not you might feel as though you have a story to tell about a relationship with a man who is “beneath you”. If you feel that this applies to you, that you have been, in the past, or are now, involved with a man who is “beneath you”, I would like to invite you to share your experiences by completing the following questionnaire.
Rest assured, I will respect your anonymity and will not divulge your responses to anyone. If I use your experiences in my book, I promise to protect your identity.
Thank you in advance. I look forward to your response.
Glenda Peters PO Box 1021 Washington, Utah 84780
QUESTIONNAIRE (The recommendation is to do a separate questionnaire for each man you have been involved with who you feel fits this criteria. Feel free to pick and choose the questions that meet your needs and to write as much or little as benefits you.) Remember: The purpose of the questionnaire is to gather information for a book about Women Choosing Men Who Are Beneath Them. Thank you for your willingness to share your experiences.
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